Hello!
It’s been a while. A lot has happened. The holidays have come and gone, and it’s 2026 now.
I’ve been very busy, just not with the things I might’ve hoped. But I’ve been making time when I can to keep up reading and writing. I think its too easy for those to fall by the wayside today. Videogames, movies, tv, work, school, manga, people. All things that can draw you in and waste your time if you don’t plan for them. But making time for one thing means decreasing time that is free for everything else. Like sleep. I sleep for about 6 hours a night, from 6PM to 12AM. I don’t recommend it, but there is something nice about how empty the world is at those dark hours in my morning.
I don’t think of myself as a lonely person, considering how much I like to be by myself, but I also don’t think that should be standard. The modern world was built by people working together. Well, some of it was built by people exploiting other people, too.
I read Albert Camus’s The Stranger Recently. I really liked the second half. It made me feel things and think things, which I always like from a book. I like feeling things more than thinking, sometimes. I recommend the book, but only if you’re sure you can handle a little sadness by the time its done.
I’ve started reading Brave New World in the meantime. I’m not very far in, but I’m very eager to learn more about the setting it takes place in. After I finish that, I plan to read Demons by Fyodor Dostoevsky. When I told some of my friends from college about the books I chose, they expressed some concern for my mental health. One said “I see you’ve chosen the path of Depression.”
I don’t know about that. I certainly tend to shy away from giving my characters completely sad endings. I don’t think I wish myself unhappiness. I think maybe I just like seeing into the darkness to appreciate living in the light. Of course, Some days I think we all live in a very very dark forest.
Since my last upload, I’ve had another short story I’ve been meaning to upload for a very long time, but I keep second guessing it, and trying to get a second set of eyes on it to see if its any good. It’s been waiting for so long though, so maybe I’ll just upload it anyway.
I’ve been contemplating my writing style. Can villains be protagonists? Sometimes a guy says he has plans for the world, and a lot of people will suffer if he pulls it off, but I can’t help but wonder, “What if he got what he wanted? Could he do it?” and next thing you know, I’ve got ideas for the next thing I want to write. I don’t think I care much for the traditional plot line. I know the Hero’s journey is tried and true, but most of the books I really like don’t make sense in that context. Besides, could you imagine trying to retell history like that?
I think I’m not totally alone.
Seeds of Fear 